i want to....

feed my misery with sad songs

spill tears over sad silly movies

stare into nothingness for hours

strip my mind of everything

but what i want the most....

is for you to be beside me to share this moment

19-08-2010 Bottled-Up

I used to write a lot. Privately, but a LOT. I kept journals; sometimes two at a time. I exchange snail mails with a lot of friends - even those that I see daily. I pour out my thoughts and sentiments through these letters. I rarely have excess baggage, my head is clear most of the time unless of course something else in liquid form muddles my brain J

From 5 years ago, my writing became sporadic. Nagni-ningas-cogon, I could hardly finish an entry. My thoughts strayed halfway to unreachable corners. And from then on I kept a lot of things hidden in a compartment in my head. I am beginning to see the reason for my change of disposition. I have so many pent-up emotions. I am a dam about to burst. I think I need a…..

14.08.2010 thoughts...thoughts..thoughts...

Ramadan Kareem!

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On "forced diet". I thought fasting would be a great way to kickstart my nth attempt at dieting. A girl could only dream. I end up eating more before going to bed and after sundown both because of being actually hungry and of the fear of becoming hungry in the middle of the day. Duh! I must really work on that fruit diet.


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Although due to a family circumstance, I still lamented on the fact that hubby and I are in the house at the same for the whole day, two days in a row. I have repeatedly asked him not to take an impromptu day-off on my day-off. Sure, spending time together is a must for couples but I do value my "alone time" a lot.

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I spent half of this day arranging our movie collection. My movies spread across different genres but his is limited to horror. After hearing him complain forever about not having a decent movie to watch, I convinced him to watch MY movie - Blood: The Last Vampire. As expected, he lost his interest halfway. Right after he commented that the heroine is Blade's cousin. It occurred to me that he never did like movies that involves samurai, kung fu, ninja. And I wonder why I enjoy them. And I did remember why. Back in the 80's, after the Sunday morning mass, me and my brother used to watch Chinese movies on TV. And more often these Chinese movies would have something to do with martial arts. Fixation?

just another day

my day started in a mildly bad mood after just 3 hours of sleep trying to get more flags from plants vs zombies. i expected and satisfactorily had a bumpy ride all throughout the day. i swam through papers that needed my attention; i wasted time in FB while also trying to figure out the colorful status message; i sat idle for 30 minutes, i had lunch in a daze and then my boss tells me at the last minute that the meeting is tomorrow. at 5 pm i figured i must move my butt a little faster to gather data. then hubby and friends decided an impromptu movie date for Avatar. and despite having repeated thrice that the show starts at 845, they picked me up at 835 from office and zoomed 5 minutes to the movie mall. we were just 5 slots away from the teller and only 2 minutes before showtime when she announced that all seats are sold for the 3D movie. we cannot possibly wait for the midnight show with my reports pending and their asses required at 7 am in the office. we ditched movie for a fast food dinner for me and fresh juices for them. and that's when the day took a livelier turn. our melon, pineapple and mango juices at 1.2 BD each were probably the most horrible fresh juice we have ever tasted in our lives. my pineapple was at room temperature and just bland. hubby made faces with the bitter aftertaste of his melon juice - the taste when you scraped off flesh too close to the skin. also in room temperature. the mango juice tasted better though it wasn't even worth at 100 fils. i said sugar will adjust my juice while the two decided on getting mangoes instead. and the mangoes came in almost pure puree, dark yellow orange in color. ms mango went and complained why her mango is like water mixed with drops of mango while theirs is MANGO! i said don't eat the poor guy, the mall is deserted, let him make money. he laughed and changed the drink while admitting that it is his first day of the job and he knows nothing about juice making. we laughed amidst stares from nearby tables, finished off our drinks and headed home. i worked myself to finish the reports before dawn only to have the internet acting up. can't get any of the reports attached to the mail. went ahead to catch some zzzz's and dreamt of ways to stop the zombies from eating my brains.